It seems I’m good at stirring up controversy. I’m getting used to it, but I still have feelings, ya know? It’s amazing to me the things people will say on the internet, and to them I reply: be nice or be quiet.
I really want to direct this post, though, to my fellow Christian parents, because some of the points I want to make won’t really be applicable to those who aren’t Christians. Which is not an admission of any sort of rejection, just a disclaimer.
What I really want to say to my fellow Christian parents: be nice or be quiet.
Now, I know that seems harsh, especially when many people think it’s not nice for me to be as outspoken as I am, but hear me out.
If you are a Christian, if you have a personal relationship with the Lord, then I’m guessing you pray. I’m guessing you read your bible. When you’re facing a tough choice, what do you do? You probably pray and ask the Lord to give you guidance. You probably seek His word for wisdom.
Now imagine facing a major decision that goes against the grain of everything you’ve ever done, everything everyone you know has ever done, really. You feel like you need to go out on a limb, to be obedient to something that the Lord is calling you to do, but you are scared.
So you pray. You read your bible. And you research the implications of your decision. Ultimately, you have to act in obedience, even if it means rejecting the comfort of doing what you’ve always done.
Many Christians are facing this process right now as they research vaccines and find that they aren’t comfortable giving them to their children.
Fellow Christian parents or piranhas?
It’s amazing to me what Christians will prioritize, what’s acceptable to prioritize. It’s ok to insist we protect our children’s hearts and limit their exposure to worldly music and television. It’s acceptable to be uptight about letting our kids sleep over at people’s houses that we don’t know well. No one balks at parents protecting their children in these scenarios.
So why is that when a parent makes an unusual choice, like rejecting vaccinations or adhering to a strict diet, that suddenly they are targeted for attack? Suddenly their fellow Christian parents become piranhas, and they find themselves swimming unprotected in open waters before being torn to shreds by those they thought were in their tribe.
Think I’m being dramatic? I’ve experienced it time and time again, and lost lots of friends. I don’t mourn those losses too much, though, because my children and their health are much more important to me than friendships that can’t stand up to my being vocal about making unpopular decisions.
If you’re one of those Christian parents questioning your friend’s unpopular decisions, here’s what I suggest:
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Don’t assume you have all the details or know why a parent is making the choices she is for her kids. When you go on the attack, it just makes you look like a jerk, and you are likely to sever the relationship rather than convince your friend to see things your way.
I once had an acquaintance from my church snarkily tell me that vaccinating was my “responsibility.” Did it make me mad? A little. But mostly, I thought she had no idea what she was talking about because she had no idea what my children’s health statuses were, why I chose not to have them vaccinated, that I myself had had health problems related to vaccinations, or that – can you believe?- I had prayed about that painstaking decision. Which leads me to my next point.
Give your fellow Christian parents the benefit of the doubt.
If you’re a praying, bible-believing Christian, surely you recognize that other Christians pray and read their bible as well. Surely you realize that other Christian parents pray about the choices they make for their kids. And surely you can understand that not everyone is going to come to the same conclusion or hold the same convictions, because the Lord talks to us all about different things, in different ways.
You also can surely understand that no parent wants to hurt their child. Some people think that not giving their child vaccinations is harmful to them, while others believe that vaccines actually hurt their child. Just because I’m in the latter camp doesn’t make me wrong. It means I have done different research, prayed different prayers, and come to different conclusions than you.
Do your own research.
Finally, if you are adamant that everyone should vaccinate their kids, period, because it will protect your children, and you haven’t given your fellow Christian parents the benefit of the doubt, recognizing that they’ve done their due diligence, maybe you should be sure you’ve done yours.
Can I ask you: have you prayed and asked the Lord if you should vaccinate your children? Have you looked up studies about the connections of vaccines to auto immune diseases? Have you read about which people may be vulnerable to vaccine damage?
If you have done all of the above, then great! If you choose to vaccinate your children after you’ve done the research, ok! I support your choice.
But if you have not read the books that I’ve read, done the research that I have, or been present for the private conversations between me and the Lord, you have no right to have an opinion about the choices I make for my kids. It’s none of your business. If you’re convinced that “herd immunity” is protecting your child and anyone who doesn’t vaccinate their child is putting your child at risk, please do your research.
Stop regurgitating the information you hear from doctors, nurses, and the media, and read a few articles of your own. Read a few studies. You’ll see that the science isn’t settled and that more research is needed.
Be nice or be quiet.
If you have done all your research and still feel strongly that other people should vaccinate their children because of the conclusions you’ve come to, you have a choice. You can either gently and kindly disagree, or you can be quiet. Any other choice is simply the wrong one.
Shouldn’t it matter more that we believe in the same God, that His Son died for our sins, and that we will spend eternity together in heaven? These earthly topics that we quibble over are really just dust in the wind. Is it really worth ripping each other apart over?
As parents, we all deserve respect for the choices we make for our children. Let’s extend some respect to our fellow parents, and some understanding for our fellow Christians.
A few thoughts in response to your post suggesting that Christian parents “be nice or be quiet”. Recently a friend of mine, a Registered Nurse, sent you a response in regards to an anti-vaccine post. She respectfully asked what you would do if one of your children unknowingly passed on a vaccine preventable disease to a newborn in your church, or to a child receiving chemotherapy treatments, and the child contracted the disease and passed. She asked what you would say to that mom. She specifically wrote a respectful post in that both you and she are Christian mothers. You did not answer her post, it was deleted immediately, and she was blocked. I have seen other posts from Christian parents along the same lines, presented in the same manner, and their posts also go unanswered and disappear. You do have Christian parents out there who are respectfully posting, yet rather than answer, you delete and block. Why is this? These parents are as concerned about their children as you are about yours and they are attempting to have civil dialogue with you.
Hi Rose. I’m not sure which post you’re referencing. It may have been one of the sites I write for besides this one. If that’s the case, there are multiple admins on multiple Facebook pages. Unfortunately, I never saw the comment you’re talking about, and, had your friend been respectful, would’ve been happy to respond. Also unfortunately, for every respectful comment, there are hundreds of nasty ones, which means some comments simply get overlooked. It’s unfortunate that so much of our time is spent weeding through the hateful comments, because it prevents meaningful dialogue from taking place.
However, I will say, that when I’m being inundated with many nasty comments, sometimes any comment meant to simply argue or prove a contradictory point to my own, will be deleted because I don’t have time to respond to those sorts of questions. My time is better spent answering the genuine questions of people looking for answers for their children, rather than those questions meant to shame me or trip me up. I have no way of knowing how your friend’s question was worded, and for that, I apologize.
Here is my response. I grew up overseas where access to vaccination was not good as it is here. Personally, I had majority of childhood diseases. Measel, Mumps, Rubella, Chickenpox. There was no fear of epidemic, no deaths. As a matter of fact, it was expcted for a child to go through certain childhood diseases to build up naturall immunity, since majority of thise diseases have more serious outcomes when an adult person is infected. This natural immunity would be life long, something beyond what any vaccine can offer. I also spoke with my dad about this, who was born in post WWII Europe with very poor healthcare acces When I asked him if measles is deadly, he laughed and said no. He said all of his friends had it an no one died. He said it’s like a flu. You get a fever, stay hydrated, and stay home for a week. So my question is, what are we doimg to our children that diseases like measles are deadly to them? How much are we screwing up (excuse my language) their immune sysyems?? You mentioned children who have compromised immune systems. Let me ask you this, have you quarantined your children when they received their vaccinations? I know of 0 parents who do. And logically, the only perso who can infect other is the one carrying a disease. So parents who do not quarantine their kids, which is 99%, after the shots are the ones putting those kids at risk. Also, certain vaccines contain aborted fetal cells. I hate to say it that way, but we have been controlled by fear for so long, that we are wiling to be ok with sacrificing few unborn featuses, so that our kids will be protected. I could go on and on. Bottom line is, I can easily say that a person who calles themselves a Christian and agres to inject their kids with tusue from aborted babies is not saved. But I can’t say it because I believe in what author of this article says. If we have relationship with God we pray about hard issues, and our Father hears our prayers. The response that we get is what we should follow.
I think I understand the confusion. This article was shared on a Facebook page. The person who shared it was not the author of the article. It seems the Facebook person was the one who deleted the comment.
Thank you!! My thoughts exactly. I’m stunned at some of the nasty things I’ve heard other Christians say. I’ve been researching vaccines for 13 years. Most of the people I know have not done any research. And yet they feel perfectly okay with being hateful and critical. Those who have been around me know I’m thoughtful and don’t make rash decisions. They know I pray and read my Bible. They know I love my kids dearly. And yet they are so indoctrinated by a lifetime of propaganda that all of that flies out the window and they feel justified to say what they want how they want. It’s heartbreaking.
Christina Favazza says
Rose: Unvaccinated people ( more than likely yourself included if you aren’t up to date ) cannot go around spreading diseases they don’t have . Vaccines don’t suck the diseases out of you therefore unvaccinated are walking around with polio, chicken pox and measles spreading it everywhere. However those injection with live virus vaccines are shedding and spreading it. Both st Jude’s and John Hopkins both wonderful well known hospitals state on their intake form for the immune compromised to stay away from someone recently vaccinated it does not say to stay away from anyone unvaccinated. Education is key ❤️
I loved this article and agree I shared it in my vaccine education group for all the Christian mommas who get blasted by ” friends ” and family all the time. Thank you for writing it
Yes! Exactly! Thank you! I can’t praise this piece enough.
I think Rose’s friend’s question has a number of misunderstandings at its core.
Let’s start with newborns.
Mothers who had measles as children confer what’s known as “passive immunity” to their infants, who are then protected for up to 3 year years. This is why measles was never known as an infantile disease; INFANTS DIDN’T GET MEASLES. Measles was almost exclusively seen in 3-15-year-olds.
Infants most certainly were exposed to measles, but it was not a worry. Disneyland opened its doors in 1955, 8 years before the first-ever measles vaccine, and nobody worried about measles.
Vaccinated mothers who have never had measles, however, do not pass on the same kind of immunity. Their infants ARE at risk for catching measles.
But to blame the unvaccinated for this is ludicrous.
As for those undergoing chemotherapy, it might surprise you to learn that the CDC recommends vaccinating all but the most severely immunocompromised. They even recommend routinely giving HIV-infected children the MMR at 15 months, and giving vaccines to leukemia patients 2 weeks prior to starting chemotherapy.
“Killed or inactivated vaccines do not represent a danger to immunocompromised persons and generally should be administered as recommended for healthy persons.”
The only vaccines that are NOT killed or inactivated are MMR, (which they give to HIV-infected children) rotavirus (transmitted ONLY by the fecal/oral route) and varicella.
It should also be noted that immunocompromised individuals are at risk from every virus and bacteria, including rhinoviruses and corona viruses (common cold and flu-like illnesses), strep, and cocksackie, all of which are common, highly transmissible, and none of which have vaccines.
Yet many people seem to assume that immunocompromised can safely be in community situations (like school classes, for example), as long as everyone is vaccinated, which is ridiculous.
The assumption that there is some kind of “right” to be in a germ-free environment is a fallacy. I
Obviously, we would like to minimize the effects of diseases, even avoid them when possible.
But it’s also a good life lesson to remember that sometimes, we–and our immune systems–are stronger after facing a bit of a challenge.
And that’s the whole concept behind vaccination: challenge the immune system a small amount to strengthen its ability to fight something really serious.
It’s a brilliant idea, but we’re seeing an a awful lot of unplanned problems, particularly with the immune system’s response, not to the weakened virus, but to the chemicals added to elicit a stronger immune response.
We can’t control how everyone’s immune system actually responds.
Apparently, we cannot successfully “play God” with the immune system.
So…why are we trying to “play God” for so many illnesses that were never considered deadly diseases, but were only uncomfortable-and-annoying-but-generally-mild, NORMAL childhood illnesses?
jane do says
Agreed. I don’t discuss vaccines anymore with parents. There’s no point to it. I have two kids with PANDAS and if we were to keep vaccinating they would be non functioning. In my mind it is our personal private business whether or not we vaccinate. I don’t discuss these things with medical staff at all. If they ask about kids being up to date on vaccines I reply with “yeah, they are fine, thanks.” Nobody has ever pressed further. In regards to diet the thing that scares me is the local school districts. If school teachers can accuse me of child neglect for my son rejecting his snacks I have given the school due to him having food allergies, imagine what they could do if he was on a special diet. This is why I try to just teach my kids to eat healthy and pray they will learn to limit how much sugar they get. After having multiple false allegations made against me by the school district in an effort to get revenge at me (I advocated for my son too much, got on their nerves), I try to just steer clear of saying anything to anybody now, especially since my son no longer has food allergies. If my kids ever go on a special diet they will have to be homeschooled.
Cheryl Bond says
For anyone to call themselves a practicing Christian & to be spewing derogatory & snarky, even hateful comments towards other Mother’s is completely contradictory to their faith. You can’t just “talk the talk” you must “walk the talk”, in your daily life. If anyone behaves in a caustic manner in conversing about vaccines, than your a complete and total HYPOCRITE! , plain & simple.
What I find most disconcerting, is that the people who that are so ignited with fury about some parents choosing to not vaccine, are the one’s that have NOT done ANY research whatsoever! They believe that because their Doctor tells them it’s safe, that it’s safe, FALSE. Pediatricians are given slim to none medical training on vaccines. They have a basic understanding how they work, they are told by the AMA & the CDC what the recommended schedule is and that’s Ll! They have no knowledge of what all the Ingredient’s are in vaccines most NEVER read the entire insert that comes with the vaccines, & they especially do not read the full “back box warning”, nor do they go over it with the parents of their patients. Most times if questions are brought up by the parents they are treated in an admonishing tone for asking, let alone questioning about vaccines. That, right there, should be a serious red flag! for any parent! Vaccines ARE MEDICAL PROCEDURE’S, NOT some “benign” thing to not think about or question! If your child went into the hospital & the told you she/he needed an operation or other invasive procedure, wouldn’t you be asking a gazillion questions & going home & doing your research? I bet you would! Yet, WHY would you not think you should be doing the same about vaccination’s?
When parents have chosen for whatever their reasons are to not vaccinate, I would guarantee that every single one of them have spent untold hours researching thoroughly INDEPENDENT research before making these decisions. They are NOT making these decisions on ignorant assumptions, infact, it’s absolutely the opposite. I have NEVER come across a parent (who when admonishing another parent for not vaccinating) has done ANY RESEARCH WHATSOEVER! This blows my mind! How can they spew admonishment at those parents, when they have NOT done their due diligence for their own kids? All they have in their arsenal is “catch phrases” that “they heard” on the news…Which, by the way, is completely manipulated by Big-pharma. Parents should be critical thinker’s. Would it concern any of them to know that EVERY SINGLE NETWORK (except CBS) has a Pharmaceutical Executive on their board of director’s! & All the networks receive about 70% or more of their advertising revenue, directly from the Pharmaceutical manufacturer’s…Or hasn’t anyone noticed that almost every commercial on TV is advertising pharmaceutical drugs, and most recently a VERY AGGRESSIVE campaign for the Gardasil (HPV) vaccine. Which, by the way, is the biggest scam ever! PARENTS BEWARE! If you care about your children’s health & well-being, you will avoid this vaccine like the plaque!!!! To just give you the “tip of the ice-burg” about it…Even the HEAD SCIENTIST (Dr. Dana Harper) who was the lead developer of that vaccine, walked away from continuing her development of the Gardasil Vaccine, because she knew that what was happening behind closed doors, was beyond unethical, & she just couldn’t morally & ethically be a part of it any longer.
I could go on & on about issues with vaccines! The author of this post mentioned that VACCINES HAVE ABORTED FETAL CELL TISSUE! in them! That alone, should be making EVERY SINGLE CHRISTIAN refuse vaccines! Let alone the 11 most TOXIC INGREDIENT’S IN VACCINE’S (GOOGLE THAT) In my opinion, every single parent needs to watch the following educational information on vaccines.
****VAXXED (The Movie)
****The Greater Good (The Movie)
****Trace Amounts (The movie)
****The Truth about Vaccines (Brand New Documentary Series
****Dr. Suzanne Humphries (ALL LECTURES ON YouTube)
****11 MOST TOXIC VACCINE INGREDIENT’S (GOOGLE ARTICLE)
I CHALLENGE ANY PARENT, TO WATCH THESE INDEPENDENT SCIENTIFICALLY SOUND PIECES ON VACCINATIONS, before you vaccinate whether for the first time, or in making the decision to continue vaccinating., Please note, that a parent might be saying ” well, I have already vaccinated & my kid(s) are fine, so no problem here…I can continue vaccinating” That is FALSE! Accumulation of adjuvants (mercury/thimerisol & aluminum) can & do accumulate in the body & when compounded by more vaccination could then suddenly cause health issues. The other Ingredient’s in vaccination’s (google: 11 most TOXIC INGREDIENT’S in VACCINES) also can/do have accumulative TOXIC effects on ones health and wellbeing) Dr’s are NOT TRAINED to know or notice the complete signs of vaccine reaction or Injuries.
Lastly, if parents ask the question, “well, if there are all these problems with vaccines, then why don’t I hear about it all over the news & in newspapers?” Please refer to above paragraph, where I explain how the media is OWNED BY BIG PHARMA CONGLOMERATE’S, that’s why. Also, the CDC, which is “SUPPOSED TO BE” a “REGULATORY AGENCY” has a MAJOR CONFLICT OF INTEREST, because they OWN OVER 20 PATENTS OF VACCINE’S! If that does not send up any red flags to EVERY PARENT! Then you are NOT being a critical thinker’s!
The INDEPENDENT SCIENTIST’S CANNOT get their research ANYWHERE in the mainstream media! Thank goodness we now live in the internet age, because we now have easy access to videos online. PLEASE NOTE! that EVERY SINGLE INDEPENDENT SCIENTIST that has COME FORWARD EXPOSING THE TRUTH about the LIES WE HAVE BEEN BEING FED are paying the price for doing so. They are routinely denegrated, called “quacks” & have had their careers ruined, yet they still carry on, because they cannot live with themselves if they do not act a MORALLY & ETHICALLY RIGHTOUS WAY! They have been subjected to basically losing it all to do what is right! That, right there, should tell parents a LOT! They have NOTHING TO GAIN, by putting their necks on the line by doing this exposing of vaccines, but the Pharmaceutical Co’s, the FDA & the CDC DO HAVE A LOT TO LOSE….BILLIONS & BILLIONS OF $$$$$$$$. Again, that should be yet another HUGE RED FLAG!