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August 29, 2016

Dear Fellow {Christian} Parents – Be Nice or Be Quiet

Dear Fellow {Christian} Parents: Be Nice or Be Quiet. | The Family That Heals Together

It seems I’m good at stirring up controversy. I’m getting used to it, but I still have feelings, ya know? It’s amazing to me the things people will say on the internet, and to them I reply: be nice or be quiet.

I really want to direct this post, though, to my fellow Christian parents, because some of the points I want to make won’t really be applicable to those who aren’t Christians. Which is not an admission of any sort of rejection, just a disclaimer.

What I really want to say to my fellow Christian parents: be nice or be quiet.

Now, I know that seems harsh, especially when many people think it’s not nice for me to be as outspoken as I am, but hear me out.

If you are a Christian, if you have a personal relationship with the Lord, then I’m guessing you pray. I’m guessing you read your bible. When you’re facing a tough choice, what do you do? You probably pray and ask the Lord to give you guidance. You probably seek His word for wisdom.

Now imagine facing a major decision that goes against the grain of everything you’ve ever done, everything everyone you know has ever done, really. You feel like you need to go out on a limb, to be obedient to something that the Lord is calling you to do, but you are scared.

So you pray. You read your bible. And you research the implications of your decision. Ultimately, you have to act in obedience, even if it means rejecting the comfort of doing what you’ve always done.

Many Christians are facing this process right now as they research vaccines and find that they aren’t comfortable giving them to their children.

Fellow Christian parents or piranhas?

It’s amazing to me what Christians will prioritize, what’s acceptable to prioritize. It’s ok to insist we protect our children’s hearts and limit their exposure to worldly music and television. It’s acceptable to be uptight about letting our kids sleep over at people’s houses that we don’t know well. No one balks at parents protecting their children in these scenarios.

So why is that when a parent makes an unusual choice, like rejecting vaccinations or adhering to a strict diet, that suddenly they are targeted for attack? Suddenly their fellow Christian parents become piranhas, and they find themselves swimming unprotected in open waters before being torn to shreds by those they thought were in their tribe.

Think I’m being dramatic? I’ve experienced it time and time again, and lost lots of friends. I don’t mourn those losses too much, though, because my children and their health are much more important to me than friendships that can’t stand up to my being vocal about making unpopular decisions.

If you’re one of those Christian parents questioning your friend’s unpopular decisions, here’s what I suggest:

Be quiet.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Don’t assume you have all the details or know why a parent is making the choices she is for her kids. When you go on the attack, it just makes you look like a jerk, and you are likely to sever the relationship rather than convince your friend to see things your way.

I once had an acquaintance from my church snarkily tell me that vaccinating was my “responsibility.” Did it make me mad? A little. But mostly, I thought she had no idea what she was talking about because she had no idea what my children’s health statuses were, why I chose not to have them vaccinated, that I myself had had health problems related to vaccinations, or that – can you believe?- I had prayed about that painstaking decision. Which leads me to my next point.

Give your fellow Christian parents the benefit of the doubt.

If you’re a praying, bible-believing Christian, surely you recognize that other Christians pray and read their bible as well. Surely you realize that other Christian parents pray about the choices they make for their kids. And surely you can understand that not everyone is going to come to the same conclusion or hold the same convictions, because the Lord talks to us all about different things, in different ways.

You also can surely understand that no parent wants to hurt their child. Some people think that not giving their child vaccinations is harmful to them, while others believe that vaccines actually hurt their child. Just because I’m in the latter camp doesn’t make me wrong. It means I have done different research, prayed different prayers, and come to different conclusions than you.

Do your own research.

Finally, if you are adamant that everyone should vaccinate their kids, period, because it will protect your children, and you haven’t given your fellow Christian parents the benefit of the doubt, recognizing that they’ve done their due diligence, maybe you should be sure you’ve done yours.

Can I ask you: have you prayed and asked the Lord if you should vaccinate your children? Have you looked up studies about the connections of vaccines to auto immune diseases? Have you read about which people may be vulnerable to vaccine damage?

If you have done all of the above, then great! If you choose to vaccinate your children after you’ve done the research, ok! I support your choice.

But if you have not read the books that I’ve read, done the research that I have, or been present for the private conversations between me and the Lord, you have no right to have an opinion about the choices I make for my kids. It’s none of your business.  If you’re convinced that “herd immunity” is protecting your child and anyone who doesn’t vaccinate their child is putting your child at risk, please do your research.

Stop regurgitating the information you hear from doctors, nurses, and the media, and read a few articles of your own. Read a few studies. You’ll see that the science isn’t settled and that more research is needed.

Be nice or be quiet.

If you have done all your research and still feel strongly that other people should vaccinate their children because of the conclusions you’ve come to, you have a choice. You can either gently and kindly disagree, or you can be quiet. Any other choice is simply the wrong one.

Shouldn’t it matter more that we believe in the same God, that His Son died for our sins, and that we will spend eternity together in heaven? These earthly topics that we quibble over are really just dust in the wind. Is it really worth ripping each other apart over?

As parents, we all deserve respect for the choices we make for our children. Let’s extend some respect to our fellow parents, and some understanding for our fellow Christians.

Dear Fellow {Christian} Parents: Be Nice or Be Quiet. | The Family That Heals Together

By: Jaclyn · Filed Under: Blog, Faith and Family, Vaccines · Tagged: christian, christianity, faith, natural living, parenting, vaccinations

May 7, 2016

Dear Mama, Are You Suiting Up? Put on the Armor of God! + get a free gift

Dear Mama: Are You Suiting Up? Put on the Armor of God.

I’ve been weary. Between cleaning up toddler scribbles and spilled milk, breaking up wrestling matches and determining who did what, and the tiring tasks of keeping a family afloat, nay thriving, I’ve had to dig deep to keep fighting when hell threatens to break loose and darkness strives to swallow us right up. Here’s the truth, mama, there’s an enemy that wants your sanity, your peace, and even your children. So suit up and put on the armor of God!

We know that hell itself wants our children, but we don’t have to hand them over! Jesus won the victory for us long ago, we need only act like it. With every thought, word, and action, we can declare His victory.

Are you behaving like you already have victory in Christ? Or do you feel defeated? Discouraged? Weak? If you are struggling with declaring victory, it’s time to suit up, mama! The armor of God is not just a fun activity we do with our kids so they can wield makeshift swords and colander helmets; it is a live and active word that we can apply to our lives every day. Here’s how you put on the armor of God.

Put on the armor of God

The Belt of Truth

This piece of armor is the base for which every other piece connects and is strengthened. Because we live in His truth, no matter what the enemy throws at us, we can stand firm in Christ.

To put on the belt of truth in the moment to moment stress of being a mom, simply ask the Lord to help you to see the truth. Ask Him to whisper truth in your ear when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

“Lord, there’s no possible way I can accomplish everything I need to do today. What’s the truth? Show me what really has to be done, according to your truth.”

“Lord, my children have really been trying my patience. I feel like they are ungrateful, disobedient, and disrespectful. What’s the truth? Tell me how you see my kids, then give me your eyes to see them and the words to speak over them rather than those I’m thinking.”

“Lord, my marriage is not what I hoped it would be. My husband is selfish and doesn’t care about my feelings. Help me to see the truth of the matter and how I can better meet my husband’s needs so that you can fulfill us both.”

See how that works? Asking the Lord to speak His truth to us, no matter the situation, gives us a different perspective. It eliminates defeat and shows us the way to victory, both in small things to bring us every day peace, and in large things to bring us reconciliation, redemption, and sanctification.

When we take our own thoughts and ideas out of the equation, the Truth can be loosed over us, and where there is truth, the enemy cannot gain a stronghold.

The Breastplate of Righteousness

Once we have our belt of truth buckled firmly around our waist, we can fix the breastplate of righteousness to it. That means that we choose to have righteous thoughts, words, and actions.

When we know His truth, we can examine each of our thoughts, words, and actions to determine if they are righteous.

“Lord, I’m really mad at that friend who slighted me, but I know it would not be righteous to speak rudely to her. Instead, your word tells us we should be straightforward (Proverbs 27:6) and handle the dispute quietly and in a forgiving way (Matthew 18:17-17).”

“Lord, my kids have been so disobedient today. I want to yell and scream and send them to their rooms for the rest of the week! But the truth is that a gentle answer turns away wrath, and a harsh word stirs up anger. I want to respond to my children righteously, rather than stir up more anger in our home. Give me some ideas and tools for how to handle these behaviors that reflect your love for us.”

“Lord, I don’t feel righteous. I’m not proud of my past. I’m not even proud of things I did yesterday. But you don’t see me the way I see myself. Help me to see myself the way you do so that I may become your righteousness.”

We may not be righteous on our own, but we can be righteous if we choose to accept the gift of righteousness Jesus extended when He died for us. Because of this, we don’t have to be a slave to our unrighteous desires and motives; we can simply ask Him to help us be righteous.

The Sandals of Peace

I love a cute pair of shoes… but trendy sandals aren’t going to get me very far when the enemy is closing in and I feel like I’m going to lose it. When I’m THISCLOSE to yelling at my kids over something trivial (or even something serious), accusing my husband of selfish motives, or choosing selfish thoughts of my own, I need something that will allow peace to overtake me.

Even when things are tough, I can have a peace that surpasses all understanding. (Phillipians 4:7)

When I know God’s truth in every situation and choose righteous behavior accordingly, I can have peace even in the midst of chaos.

“Lord, my husband just lost his job and I’m scared for our future, but your word tells us that you will never forsake us, so I accept your peace in this situation.”

“Lord, I feel out of control and chaotic with the responsibilities I have on my plate right now, but I know you will equip me for those tasks you’ve called me to, and you’ll release me from those that aren’t your will, so I choose to have peace of mind over this situation.”

“Lord, this big medical situation is scary. I’m scared for my health (or my husband’s/child’s/friend’s/family member’s). But I know your perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18), so I choose to rest in your love and perfect peace, placing all of my fear in your hands.”

Life throws us curve balls sometimes, and the enemy would love for us to become hysterical, chaotic women, but because we are firmly planted in truth, we can have His peace, even when it doesn’t make sense.

Dear Mama: Are You Suiting Up? Put on the Armor of God.

The Shield of Faith

When we know His truth, it’s easy to put our faith in Him, because we know He is always working for our good, if we’ll just let Him.

Because I choose to believe His truth, regardless of my circumstances, I choose to put my faith in Him. In the study “Armor of God,” Priscilla Shirer describes faith as “acting like God is telling the Truth.” You may say you believe God’s truth. You may even believe you believe His truth. But unless you are willing to act like He is telling the truth, your faith will be fruitless.

“Lord, I know you are leading me to do this {big, scary thing}, but I don’t think I can handle it. However, because your word says you will equip me to do your will (Hebrews 13:21), I’m going to step out in faith and obey.”

“Lord, I’m worried that if we tithe, we won’t have enough money to pay our bills. But I’m going to be obedient and trust through faith that you will meet all my needs according to your riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)”

“Lord, I’m facing a situation that seems hopeless, but I put my faith in you and will continue moving forward in obedience, even if I’m not sure where this path will lead… I know you do and you have directed my steps. (Proverbs 20:24)”

If we have faith as small as a mustard seed, we can tell that mountain to move! Sometimes refusing to step out in faith has huge implications: that stranger the Lord urged you to tell about Him may not get another opportunity to hear the gospel. Sometimes we simply get robbed of a blessing because of our unbelief. Either way, I want to be a woman of strong faith who moves mountains for the Lord!

The Helmet of Salvation

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Listen, if we want to know truth, choose righteous behavior, walk in peace, and put our faith in God, it all starts in our mind. Our mind is where that battle really takes place.

When we put on the helmet of salvation, we protect our minds from the attacks of the enemy. He wants us to believe lies. He wants to stir up dissention in our marriage and with our kids. But when we put on the helmet of salvation, we fortify our minds, and the enemy cannot break through and convince us to see things his way.

Salvation is simple: He saved us. Because Jesus died on the cross for our sins, we can be saved. And when we put on the helmet of salvation, we make a statement: we our bought and paid for, with a steep price, the life of Jesus Himself. We make the statement that we are not a woman to be trifled with.

Not only does our salvation save us from an eternal death, but it offers us deliverance from the enemy’s attacks in the here and now. Once we receive salvation, we can then begin to be sanctified, the process by which the Lord makes us more like Him as we grow and choose His ways every day.

The helmet of salvation means we can apply His truth, make righteous choices, have peace, and put our faith fully in Him as we gain victory every day, moment by moment, choice by choice.

The Sword of the Spirit

This piece of armor is an offensive weapon. We fortify ourselves with the other pieces, but with the sword of the spirit, God’s word, we fight.

  • We can know His truth, but if we don’t speak out the scripture that supports His truth, the enemy doesn’t hear it.

Psalm 25:5 Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

Say it: “I choose to let you lead me in your truth and teach me. You are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long.”

  • We can desire to be righteous, but if we don’t claim scripture (out loud) that supports our righteous thoughts and desires, we’ll lack the fortification those scriptures offer.

Proverbs 21: 21 Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.

Say it: “I pursue righteousness and love; therefore, I find love, prosperity and honor.”

  • We can choose to have peace, but peace will be fleeting if we don’t speak it out loud.

Phillipians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Say it: “God, I choose your peace, which doesn’t make sense right now, so that you can guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.”

  • We can put our faith in Him, but we need to reinforce our choice by speaking out where our faith lies, so that we can further believe, and so that the enemy hears us and knows our mind is made up.

Psalm 31:14 But I trust in you, LORD; I say, “You are my God.”

Say it: “I trust in you Lord and say You are my God.”

  • We can say we are saved, but speaking our salvation out loud fortifies our mind, protects our thoughts, and sends the enemy running.

Ephesians 1:13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit…

Say it: “I was included in Christ when I heard the word of truth, the gospel of my salvation. When I believed, I was marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.”

To take up the sword of the Spirit, you have to use scripture as a weapon that will cause the enemy to flee. Find scriptures that apply to your life and current situation, personalize them, then speak them out and watch the Holy Spirit work!

The battle is not ours

Mama, you may feel like you are in the midst of a daily battle. I certainly have. When you choose to launch an offensive against the enemy, he will fight back. But arm yourself. Suit up and put on the armor of God, and then let Him fight for you. Do not be dismayed or discouraged, for the battle is not yours, but God’s! (2 Chronicles 20:15)

Do you put on the armor of God? How have you found it makes a difference for you as a mama?

Scroll down for free printables to help you remember the gifts He offers us when we put on the armor of God!

Dear Mama: Are You Suiting Up? Put on the Armor of God.

If you want to learn more about how you can put on the armor of God and become a woman of faith, pick up the Armor of God study by Priscilla Shirer. It will change your life! Below, I created some printables based on quotes from that study, so that you can hang them up and remember what putting on the armor offers you daily:

Dear Mamas: Are You Suiting Up? Put on the Armor of God.

Click here for a printable PDF of “He gives me a holy confidence…”

Dear Mamas: Are You Suiting Up? Put on the Armor of God.

And here for a pdf printable of “Trust leads to thankfulness…”

 

By: Jaclyn · Filed Under: Blog, Faith and Family · Tagged: armor of god, christian, family, mom, mothering, parenting, scripture

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